What we've been up to.

So thankful to have a "day off" from pressing calligraphy project deadlines. I'm loving the business--and the work--but I can't say it doesn't make me feel super stretched to the limit. When I actually sit down at my drafting table and work, I really love it. But usually I wake up and in the torrent of hormones that is the state of my pregnant body, I want to pull the covers back over my head and forget about responsibility. And just that feeling makes me feel like a failure.

When we moved to Memphis, one of the extremely sweet and providential things God did for us was place us at a church where vulnerability in relationships is championed. Our pastor has a long history in counseling, and he is sincerely interested in his staff and their spouses and how they're getting on with life. Since life and I  haven't been the best of friends recently, so I went to talk with him last week. There were no "Five Steps to Happiness" given, or quick and simple answers to my hormonal vacuum, but to share my frustrations and fears with someone other than Tony (who feels what I feel and isn't completely objective (as he shouldn't be!)) was so relieving. And since that simple talk with Joe--and the big burger, large fry, and chocolate shake he made me go buy afterward to enjoy in silence--I have felt a big difference. I think the key is sharing our struggles. When I try to muscle through without God's help (because I should be able to do this by myself, dang it!) or the help of the people that care about me (because I should be able to do this by myself, dang it!), I fail. Every time.

All that to say: be honest with yourself, with God, and with others about your struggles, and I think you'll find, like I did, that you're not alone. What a beautiful truth. 

On to kid pictures!

Our big, bottle-holding baby. We've never had a bottle-fed baby before, and I must say, it is nice to occasionally plop the kid down on some pillows with a bottle and do what you need to do.

 Handsome, handsome little man:

We found out Baby Four is a boy! Name still TBD.

 I caught this look of Judah's after nap one day, and it is just the perfect representation of what that time of day is like:

 We played outside. One day. Several weeks ago.

 This girl is an artist, hands down. It is innate in her little person, and I love it. Today we went to Target and Judah picked a foam sword. Elizabeth picked a pack of mini gel pens. So her.

 An example of what she draws: a keep-out sign for her bedroom door. Hmmm....

 She also likes to put Judah in drag. I laugh, Tony gets irritated.

 We found out my sister's baby is a GIRL! Hooray for pink things and little girl clothes!

Last Saturday we braved Chuck E. Cheese for the first time ever. It was surprisingly not the Apocalypse! Also, while we were there, two ladies from my church (including my pastor's wife) were at our house cleaning. How blissfully wonderful. That might have contributed to my extremely relaxed approach to the Chuck E. Cheese madness.

 And this is what we call all played out. 

That's what we've been up to! Off to read up on how to make fondant for Judah's Buzz Lightyear birthday cake. He turns three on Friday! Maybe if I keep this up there might be a post about it. Here's hoping!

Some updating.

Hello there, sweet friends who actually still read this. We are--all six of us--still alive over here. Blogging has taken an extreme backseat to living, which seems completely to fill up my time on its own (imagine that!). Things are very slowly settling down though. Here are updates on us:

• We moved into our very first home the day before Christmas Eve. It was a crazy, crazy time, as I'm sure you can imagine. The kids' first night here was Christmas Eve. It will most certainly be a holiday we will never forget! God is so good to me, even in the little things. He knows how I work. If I get too excited too early, it wears off and then I'm left with blah. I kept wondering why I wasn't jumping out of my seat every time I thought about moving into our house. I just was not that excited. Ready, but not excited. Overwhelmed, but not excited. Looking forward to what I hoped it would mean for our family, but not excited. You get the picture. But since we've moved in, I've seen the kindness of the Lord at work in this small thing in my heart. Because instead of being prematurely ecstatic, I have slowly and sweetly been realizing specific things I love about our house. I know that my coming about it this way will make my thankfulness grow permanent in my heart. I am so grateful to the Lord for working in me this way about something that is so near and dear to me as a wife and mother: my home.

• I am almost 21 weeks pregnant (I always want to round up the weeks when I'm pregnant, ha.) We have yet to find out whether this sweet one is our second baby girl or our third baby boy. We've had issues with switching insurance, otherwise we would probably know already! It's funny how stuff changes with consecutive pregnancies...I would have been losing my mind if I had gone this long without knowing with my first one! We had the date planned and I literally could not sleep the night before. With this one, our precious fourth, I am so much less anxious. I still want to know, absolutely, but I'm not flipping out. Don't even really know why! Perhaps I have a few other things to distract me during the day....

• Elizabeth is almost 4 and a half, Judah is almost 3, and Rivers is almost 10 months. They are my discipline and my joy, my tears and my laughter. They are the the low and high of every day, the worst and the very, very best. Hard to explain, but maybe you've been there too?

I really did not intend to do a lengthy, pictureless post, but I was already at the computer and waiting for something to download and there you go. I had lost my good camera's battery charger, so there is a depressing lack of quality pictures from Christmas and the move-in. Found it when we moved though, so there should be some pictures on here the next go round. 

I'll leave you with yet another link to Kingdom Poets. I couldn't help it--T.S. Eliot is the most recent post, and not only that, but the excerpt featured is one of my most favorite of his. Maybe THE most. Feed your soul, and I hope I'll see you back here soon enough.

"The dove descending...."